The man in Lamentations chapter 3 is me. Okay…I grant you he’s an extreme version of me. I have not been to the extremes he points out, but still I relate.
For this man Hope and Horror stand side by side. Hope and Honesty for this guy, stand side by side. Hope and Contradiction stand side by side. As Rob Bell so wonderfully pointed out to me, if you take this Guy’s little rant in the first part of the chapter and mix it up with his second rant…it would look like this.
God has pierced my heart/ God is good
God has driven me away/ God’s love is great
God has broken my teeth with gravel/ God is compassionate
God has trampled me in the dust/ God is good.
Personally, I don’t even have peace any more. I just wait….and wait….and wait…. Sometimes bitterly, sometimes apathetically….but almost never patiently.
AND YET !
Hope is NOT the absence of all these other emotions. In the last 2 months I have recognized the glory of God in ways I never have before. I praise him more genuinely than I have ever before. Because my praise doesn’t come from the over-flowing of my perfect life, but rather from the over-flowing of the truth that He is deserving of praise. It may seem incomprehensible to non-Christians, but the truth is that the moments I’m praising him in my pain are more precious than the ones that are in my joy.
Do you like all that philosophizing/theologizing? Hope so…because that’s me.
Life…oh yes. My dear friend Emily put it well “the hard part about blogging when it’s been a while is that you don’t know where to start. Do I tell a little of everything? Or just pick a few key things and expand on those? Yes, these are the difficult questions in life.”
A little of everything then?
Mandy is here for a little over a month. Her attitude has improved and I like that a lot. I enjoy her and wish that I had more time (and money) with her. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind emotionally regarding her and her stay, but God has overseen it all and given me a day-by-day attitude.
Now if only I could have that perspective on the rest of my life.
Sara is loving her new job and that makes me happy. The women she works with are great and they all have true purpose and ministry. I’m a little jealous of the focused Christian purpose that she gets in her job with these women.
Her and I are sharing a room again (ahhh…college. Those were the days) and that has been fun as ever. Right now she’s very awake (which is odd considering she shut her light off at 9:30) and is acting slightly goofy.
My biggest provocation at work is the fact that the A/C must be set at 65 degrees. This is unpleasant and wasteful. I turn on a little space heater everyday because I refuse to be that cold at work. Supposedly, it’s practically impossible to get the A/C reset. I don’t know.
But everything else at work I am enjoying. My boss and co-workers are wonderful and I really enjoy the added responsibilities of vault teller.
My Navy friends are deployed around the world right now. Most of them in the Sandbox (Nick, Jake, Mahi) and one in the East Sea (Tim). I miss them, especially Nick and Tim. I also miss Blake. Another Navy friend who is now no longer in the Navy, but married and living in the South.
I miss Miriah…a true heart connection…also stolen away by Love’s call to the South.
My childhood best friend is married. Ashlea is now a Mrs. How strange. I love her. I was very glad to be a part of her wedding.
I also have this lovely picture of my parents and I at Ash’s wedding. I got to spend a few precious moments with them during my vacation home and as I grow up I am more and more thankful for them.
And that’s all.
I love Jesus. I will let Him take care of me.